10/02/2010

Stop it! IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE!

So, as "Much Poopies!" suggested, I checked out Bubble Tank 2 by Hero interactive. You can access it via Armor Games. First of all, let me say a few words about Hero interactive. For some reason I really hate them. It could be because of this horryfing disfiguration of a mascot that makes me want to take a dump, reach into the bowl and go Picasso on my screen with what I found. Or maybe one night I came home drunk, kick started my computer and decided to play a game and it happened to be by them. Whatever, whenever their logo pops up I grind my teeth and go "aw shit."
However, I gave Bubble Tank 2 a fair try. I was actually quite surprised, because I played Bubble Tanks 1 before and didnt know it had a sequel and a spin-off: Bubble Tank Tower Defense.
The idea is that you control a tank, made of bubbles, that shoots bubbles at other tanks, made of bubbles and collect bubbles they drop while driving( swimming?) around in a bubble.
I have no clue whatsoever how anyone would get the idea to make tanks from bubbles, seeing the defensive capability of soap being quite low. And a war of soap tanks could be won quite easily with, say, sand. Whatever. It's a game and games don't need realism! Fuck yeah, games!
So you start off with a pretty basic vehicle made up from a few blue and yellow bubbles, the yellow ones indicating turrets.
You grow with more bubbles.
You then proceed to slip from bubble to bubble and kill of others, first defenseless little guys, later bigger boss-like things that must have been constructed by some crazy bubble scientist.
Every enemy you kill drops little bubbles you can collect to grow and later on evolve (Darwin would kill me right here) into a bigger, better tank, either a fast one or a slow, heavy damage thing, or something inbetween. The problem is: whenever you take damage you loose collected bubbles and once the bubble counter reaches zero you start at the first bubble. Which sucks major ass, because you get hit. A lot.
But that is not the biggest problem yet. The biggest problem is that at some point the level bubbles get so crowded with enemies that sputter bullets like they're special or something because their mommies didn't love them enough. I have no clue what went through the developers mind. It must have been like "yeah, bathroom stalls are pretty awesome, because you don't have any space and have to avoid all the shit. We should totally include that into our game."
Kekeke Zergrush. The one in the red circle is me, btw.
Yeah, great fucking idea Hero interactive. Because what happens once you get to close to the level bubbles is that you get INSTA-WARPED to the next one. Once you jump back you realize that all the damage you have dealt to the enemies has been taken away, while you still limp around on your last 20 bubbles.
"This is bullshit", I said and shut the game off.

Now I remember why I hated Hero interactive.

14 comments:

  1. I know this game, it is pretty fun I just wish the upgrade system was more rapid than one per new level. Still, a fun play.

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  2. this game is insanely addictive...

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  3. Hm, I'll have to give this a try.

    I remember seeing a similar game on JIG some time ago, and it was pretty fun.

    Thanks for sharing it.

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  4. haha I used to play this game before for hours at our school library!

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  5. oh man i've played this one before, I could never beat the enemies in the really big bubbles. Like I honestly had no idea how and got ridiculously frustrated because other than that it was insanely addictive

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  6. Too bad it looked like it had promise

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  7. i definitly have to give a try.

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  8. it's looks great ! I should try it...

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  9. Cant go wrong with listening to muchpoopies!

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